by ariddesert87

Feelings. They’re funny little things, causing us to experience happiness, sadness, anger or joy, sometimes in the span of seconds. I’ve been feeling those four emotions intensely in the past month. So much has happened and I’m still processing it. I’ve revisited the events of that fateful night over and over in my mind, analysing all the possible reasons why things went wrong. I’ve driven myself mad trying to find answers to the endless questions. It’s like being adrift in a vast ocean, trying in vain to grab a life buoy that is out of reach, treading water desperately to keep from going under. I’m exhausted and drained, and still I can’t stop thinking about our conversation. For the past month, I’ve been waking up feeling sad and listless with a dark cloud hovering over my head, sleepwalking like a zombie through my days and nights. The weight of my thoughts is paralysing, and each passing day spent dwelling on them is wearing me down. Reality infiltrates my unconsciousness with odd dream after odd dream most nights; my slumber is fitful at best, in disarray at worst. Feelings, I wish I could press a button and stop feeling them.