Recuperar

It’s been a surreal year so far. Like a newborn baby deer, we are taking tentative steps towards opening up since we went into lockdown on 14 March. Life is slowly returning as children play in the parks, families stroll along the ramblas, and friends gather for drinks on terrazas. Some bars and restaurants in my neighbourhood have reopened although many remain shut, including a pizza place around the corner that serves delicious, giant slices. I’ve been taking walks by the beach, enjoying the cool breeze and fresh air and exercising my legs. Less pleasant is having to jostle for space with everyone from joggers and cyclists, to dog owners and their pets.

One of the sobering things about the pandemic was that Chinese people and Asians as a whole were targets of racism. I had been bracing myself for racist comments and attacks after reading about such incidents in Madrid. Apart from a few furtive glances on the street and in the supermarket, I didn’t encounter any outright discrimination. Then it happened. The first was when a woman on a train platform backed away as I passed her. More recently, a teenage girl shouted “coronavirus” at me as I was walking home. It was upsetting but I understood their actions. It’s a scary situation and people give in to irrational thoughts and prejudices. It’s easier to blame Asians for spreading the virus then to think deeper and objectively.

Between the pandemic, the protests in Hong Kong and the US, and the long recession looming ahead, the next several years look bleak. Our lives have been and are still on hold. It’s hard to make plans because everything is so uncertain. My train to Valencia last month was cancelled and two festivals I had tickets for have been postponed to next year. I don’t know when I’ll be able to see my family and friends back home. All I can do now is live day to day and focus on recovering and rebuilding for when things are back to “normal”.

Volver

“Hola visita, ¿cómo estás?” Another long absence, another return. I’m writing this from my shared flat in Barcelona, where I’ve been living for the past 10 months. Like what I wrote in my previous post nearly a year ago, a lot has happened in my life.

I moved to Barcelona last November to do the CELTA, an intensive month-long course to become a certified ESL teacher. It was the most demanding thing I’ve ever done – staying in school until 7pm most days, completing four assignments in four weeks, and an endless amount of lesson planning to do. There was no time for any social life and I was utterly drained at the end. Fortunately, the last day of the course coincided with the Christmas and New Year break, and I did nothing but eat, sleep and laze around during that period. As rigorous as my course was, it was really an introduction to the basics of teaching. Though I had completed six hours of teaching practice with real students, I definitely didn’t feel prepared to step in front of a roomful of students. Most people who did it said you learn on the job and they were right.

I wanted to stay in Spain longer so I enrolled in a teacher development course immediately after. Since January, I’ve been taking teacher development and Spanish classes, and giving private lessons for a few hours a week. I interviewed with several schools and realised they’re reluctant to hire teachers on a student visa as it means more paperwork for them. And it’s been a struggle to make enough to cover rent and expenses. I’ve been living off my savings but eventually I’ll have to dip into my earnings from teaching. The constant worrying about money gets to me and sometimes I feel that I’m not enjoying Barcelona as much as I should. On the bright side, my Spanish classes are mostly excellent and the teachers at my school are dedicated to helping us learn and improve. I have a B1 level now and while my Spanish is far from perfect, I wouldn’t have imagined I would have the opportunity to learn another language, much less in a foreign country.

I finish my course in November and I’m undecided on what to do next. I would like to stay longer but it means having to live the student life for two more years. Hopefully after two years, I’d be eligible to apply for a work visa. I have a lot of thinking to do in the meantime, so hasta luego for now.